the ability to kill an elephant!

Not a second of sleep last night, despite all the booze. Oh well.

I do want to talk about one of the things I like to think about as I stare daggers at my spackled ceiling, willing my body to accept lying on my back and trying not to move as restful. I like to think about driving, and how impressive it really is. Think about it. We are these mushy little creatures and we regularly are in control of something that could easily kill any land animal in the world. Sure, a rhino or an elephant can flip over a jeep, but if you caught it unawares it would be toast. And that's not even the part thats craziest to me. Humans are an animal that regularly trips and falls while walking. We injure ourselves severely playing games (football, boxing, etc) and we tend to be so self absorbed as to not notice anything else. And yet, we are put in charge of these machines.

Driving has become second nature for many of us, but it is NOT easy. There are so many things to consider, and it all has to happen so fast. The world record for human running speed is 27 mph. I doubt I can go half that fast. Today on the 5, I hit 80. Didn't even break a sweat. And my mind has adapted that going that fast seems like nothing. You somehow stick a person from the middle ages in a car and see what they think. They wouldn't even get around to the complexity of controlling it. They would be utterly terrified of the speed they were going.

So when you're next in your automobile, don't take it for granted. I'm not talking about having the power to end a life (though don't forget that either). Just think about how cool it really is to go that fast, and be in control of something more than 10 times your size, and be able to put together the series of motor (ha!) functions necessary to drive. It's pretty damn awesome.

Listening to Shwayze

Ok

So I slept lie 3+ hours last night after I posted, so I'm feeling good about my total sleep time this week. As for right now, I drank a bunch of Grey Goose and Everclear with Robyn, Dan, and Nathan so I should for sure sleep. Right? Balls. Just wanted to tell you guys that even drunk I still have insomnia. I would love to sleep. I'm super relaxed. I'm barely coherent. But not tired...
Son of a bitch.

Anyway. Ima lay down. If I'm not still staring at the ceiling in 4 hours wishing I could sleep, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Now, to keep you guys from getting too bored to keep reading my blog, I shall tell you the story of my car accident. Now what I like to say is that I got hit by a boat about a mile from Gibson Island. What I don't always mention is that Gibson Island is a city and the boat was on a trailer. ...I'm driving down the highway minding my own business at about 5 am and this nutcase in a pickup totally cuts me off. My defensive driving kicked in and I was able to slow enough to not get hit by his dumb ass. It all would have been fine except he was towing a 27 foot boat with no lights on the trailer. Needless to say I couldn't see it in the dark so I thought I was in the clear. But as I watched the truck straighten out in front of me my car was slammed on the left side. I looked in that direction but could not tell what hit me. This is because the boat trailer was against my car below window level and the boat itself had come free from its bindings and was ON TOP OF MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR. The weight of the boat was enough to warp the roof and crack my windshield, but the real damage was done when the boat, carried by the momentum of assface's truck, slid off my roof and landed rather soundly on my hood. It bounced off the hood and skidded 140 feet down the road, coming to a stop sideways but still right-side up in the left turn lane of Ritchie Highway.
So thats the story of the time I owned a Saturn for two weeks.

Time for a Story

Let me set the scene for you. It's one of those nights so cloudy you can tell the moon is out but you can't quite tell what direction it's in. You are in a city, but not one of the modern parts of a city where everything is made of steel and glass. The buildings around you are old, but they were built well enough that thats ok. They aren't dilapidated, just dated. You are walking along with a purpose. I don't know what that purpose is, but you clearly have one. And you seem rather happy at the prospect, walking down the street humming a tune and swinging your arms as if you haven't a care in the world. You pass by an attractive person of your gender of choice and give them a big smile. They smile back in relief as if all they were hoping for is that you think them to be swell. But you keep moving. You have your own agenda. You don't even look back wistfully at this beautiful stranger wishing you had the time. You are not going to be distracted tonight. You continue to walk along and happen upon...

End scene

The purpose of this narrative is to let you know that it can never be about me. I have no purpose. I am easily distracted. I am far more concerned with what might have been than what could be. I spend more time than you might guess analyzing the day's events in my head. I think this is one of the things that began my insomnia. At first it was just my mind's inability to turn off that kept me from sleeping. Who can relax when you have to go over everything that happened that day to see what you could have done to make things turn out better? Well not me, and what started out all mental became so prevalent I become physiologically accustomed to the lack of sleep. It is now to the point that when tired I cannot sleep more than 4 or 5 hours. My body will not let itself get the sleep it needs.

Listening to: Immortal Technique but fantasizing about Uffie

Introduction

I have what you would call crippling insomnia. Right now it is 5:47 am. I took a 45 minute turkey-induced nap around 10 last night that I knew doomed me to no sleep for the remainder of the day. Balls.

Well, at least I started a blog. Pretty productive night. Now I just have to hope that my gym opens at its regular time (6 am) despite it being the day after Thanksgiving. That way, I can go spend some time smoking cigarettes and reading my book in the hot tub instead of doing those very things on my porch.

I will keep my zero readers updated. Tomorrow, I'll talk about some of the things I like to do instead of sleeping.

Currently reading: The Practice Effect by David Brin

Currently listening to: Bishop Allen