Best albums of 2011

Wow, its been a full year since i remembered i had a blog. must be time for the best albums of 2011!

i'd like to say that i haven't listened to everything. i miss things. like if i'd really been paying attention i would have included the legend of mr rager on last year's list, but i didnt hear it til last month. oh well. this year was stronger.

honorable mentions:
PJ Harvey, Balam Acab, Bon Iver, The Decemberists, Radiohead, and James Blake all put out fantastic albums this year. These 10 were better...

10. Common - The Dreamer, The Believer
It's exactly what you expect out of a Common album: meaningful lyrics, clever hooks, good beats. If you're in to that sort of thing, you'll probably like it.

9. Lady Gaga - Born This Way

You've heard it. And you probably enjoyed listening to it. It's pop music. Get over yourself.

8. The Field - Looping State of Mind

So pretty.

7. Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues
The [perfectly legal] download I got of this album has its genre listed as "Cosmic Tones for Mental Therapy"
Well there you go.

6. Das Racist - Relax
No hip hop album has made me laugh this much since Ludacris was good.

5. Washed Out - Within and Without

I have no words for how beautiful this album is. The sense of space is immaculate. I don't even think that sentence makes sense.

4. The Joy Formidable - The Big Roar
If they made "Rockstar Barbie," they would have to model it after Ritzy Bryan

3. Jay Z and Kanye West - Watch the Throne

That is all.

2. The Weeknd - House of Balloons

Abel Tesfaye has perhaps the best voice in all the world. All 3 of his releases this year could have made this list, but that didn't seem fair. This is the best one.
I'd also like to point out that the clips from "Havoc" in this fan-made music video are awesome.

1. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds

Jesus. I spent 5 minutes deciding my favorite song for the embedded video. I'm still not sure.
A little background:
Oasis has been my favorite band since the first time I listened to "Be Here Now" all the way through. Turns out that Liam, Guigsy and Gem were just holding him back. This is the best Oasis album ever.
This may be the best album ever.
It is absolutely the best album of 2011.
And it isn't close.

Here's one more.

Top 10 Albums of 2010

took me awhile to compile this year, but i think i've got it licked now. let's jump right in.

10. tie
Tinie Tempah - Disc-Overy/ Bruno Mars - Doo Wops and Hooligans
went back and forth on this for too long not to put both. neither of these are fantastic, but they are both enjoyable all the way through.

9. B.o.B. presents the Legend of Bobby Ray
would like to embed "airplanes" music video because that song is awesome and i love looking at hayley williams. but its been disabled and, frankly, everyone has heard it. so fuck em.
anyway, i remember when Bob was an underground rapper in atlanta. glad he made it, and this album is why.

8. The Roots - How I Got Over


not like we expect anything less than good hip hop with a message from the roots, but they're still great. apparently they are the house band for jimmy fallon now. i cant explain that.

7. Janelle Monae - ArchAndroid


girl's got soul (he said quite racistly).

6. Cee-Lo Green - The Lady Killer


He makes me laugh, he makes me dance, and he makes me sing along. so fuck you.

5. LCD Soundsystem - This Is Happening


If i could just hang out with any "celebrity", expecting to gain nothing but some conversation, i would choose james murphy.

4. Matthew Dear - Black City


i can't really talk about it or explain it. just listen to it.

3. Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More


they got really huge really quickly and they seem to deserve it. also, id never seen this video before finding it to post here and i would like to say that i would love to see them live in a freaking bookstore.

2. Gorillaz - Plastic Beach


i'm sad they were so underwhelming at coachella. and i'll admit that that performance might have contributed to them dropping a spot in a very close race for the top 3.

1. Massive Attack - Heligoland


hey guys, lets not wait another 7 years for your next album. how's that sound?
the two tracks with horace andy vocals are just amazing. this album is so beautiful and intense.

NBA Eastern Conference Preview

Do I think anyone reads my blog? No.
Do I think that anyone who does would care about basketball? Also no.
Am I writing it anyway? Fuck yes. This is my blog for writing when I can't sleep. So fuck you.

Anyway...

This is looking like the most exciting NBA season in a long time, and it comes with a lot of questions. Will the Heat mesh? Are the Celtics too old? Can Dwight Howard develop a goddamn offensive game? Can any of these teams beat the Lakers? Well, here we go. Rankings based on how good I think the team is, not regular season record.

1. Boston Celtics
They will coast through the regular season again and still finish 3rd in the east. The addition of 14 feet worth of O'Neals gives them crazy depth in the paint, which happens to be exactly where the Heat are weakest and where a team needs depth (read: fouls to give) to beat the Magic. Shit, it's like they planned it.

2. Orlando Magic
Dwight Howard is the best defensive player in the NBA. No question. But Orlando lives and dies with his offensive ability. If his summer with Hakeem worked, he is the MVP and the Magic make the finals. If not, they lose to the Celtics in the playoffs.

3. Miami Heat
I'm not ready to crown them quite yet. They are, obviously, incredibly talented. But they are weak at point guard and center. LeBron could completely nullify the weakness at the point, but what the hell are they gonna do about Dwight Howard and the 17 big men in Boston?
That said, if LeBron can go for 22/10/12 and Wade can score down the stretch, this team is terrifying.

4. Chicago Bulls
The Bulls had the best offseason outside of Miami. With Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, and Carlos Boozer this team will crush the dregs of the east, which includes most of their division (I'm gonna say something along the lines of 100 wins combined for the Pacers, Pistons and Cavs). But thats about it. Shrug.

5. Milwaukee Bucks
Good young team that's only going to get better. Bogut and Jennings look to be both the present and the future of this franchise, and I have been consistently impressed with John Salmons.

6. New York Knicks
They'll score in bunches and make the playoffs, but unless they manage to acquire Carmelo Anthony I can't really see them making much noise once they get there. Felton led the Bobcats to the playoffs last year, and the new look Knicks are better than than that.

7. Washington Wizards
Because John Wall looks like the fastest player since Allen Iverson and will lead the league in steals. Because Wall, Arenas, and Heinrich are going to be the hardest trio to guard outside of Miami. Because Gilbert can finally just be a scorer. Because JaVale McGee has 4 capital letters in his name (and is a pretty good inside presence along with Andray Blatche). Because I'm a total homer.

8. Atlanta Hawks
Hey look, the exact same team as last year.

9. Philadelphia 76ers
Can Elton Brand possibly be that bad? I think Evan Turner will be better than he's showed so far and Andre Iguodola will continue to careen around the court and make hustle plays. The Sixers have a lot of good young players but they're still a while away.

10. I don't know, Nets?
They got better I guess, and they were already better than 12 wins...

11. Charlotte Bobcats
Ray Felton and Tyson Chandler can lead this team back to the playoffs. Oh wait.

12. Indiana Pacers
One of the teams I'm least likely to watch this year.

13. Detroit Pistons
Will trade Tayshaun Prince or Rip Hamilton to a contender sometime this year. Maybe both.

14. Cleveland Cavaliers
I feel like there's someone missing here. I will always love Antawn Jamison. JJ Hickson could turn into a good player. Ummmmm, shit. Sorry Cleveland. Atleast you're not in Toronto.

1,273. Toronto Raptors
Ranking reflects the number of college, Euroleague, and hockey teams better than the Raptors. Atleast you're not in Seattle.

Pop Music

So I have a new ride. Cuz I crashed my old one...
I basically like it, but its glaring problem is that the only tunes I have access to are "the radio". I think I became rather spoiled with my USB stereo in my last car. Who needs an IPod when you can just listen of a flash drive?
But anyway... I've been listening to the radio. So right now, I think I'm more familiar with pop music than I've ever been. I wanted to comment on some.


First thing I wanted to mention was Nelly. I'm not saying "Only Just a Dream" is a good song. It's alright, but nothing special. But I am really impressed with Nelly. He is an R&B singer now. Which he is, frankly, better at than rapping. I can admit that, but it was much harder for him too. That's a big deal. I am shocked that he was able to overcome his machismo enough to do that. I think it's a Ludacris lyric that says "these rap cats is soft, like R&B singers". It takes a real man to choose that when he doesn't have to. I'm proud of him.


Next thing: Rihanna is extremely talented. She has an amazing voice and made some really great songs. She has not made even a tolerable one since Chris Brown beat her up. I'm not saying it's related...


Third thing. "Like a G6" reminds me of the rave scene when I was part of it. Back in 2002 we danced to rappers that knew how to make beats, not European dudes with laptops. I love this song. This was my favorite song on the radio for about the first week and a half.


Sadly, it has been replaced.


The last thing I wanted to say is that I thought for sure we all would have forgotten Katy Perry a year after "I Kissed a Girl" came out. I was terribly wrong.

Musical expression

Just to update, now at 8.5 hours sleep on the year.

I've always wanted to learn to play an instrument. Yes, I played some drums and some trumpet back in the day. But I was never even decent at either. But it would be nice to be able to express myself musically. Unfortunately, I am not willing to put in the time or effort to actually get to that point. Video editing, on the other hand, I think I could learn...



Also, I would like to add a supplementary album to my top ten of the year. I didn't get around to listening to "Phrazes for the Young" by Julian Casablancas until earlier today. It will require more listening to actually rank it, but I'm going to call it now- it makes the top ten. Fantastic album.

Let us begin the count

I think I'm going to keep a running tab of how much sleep I get for the new year. So far 3 hours. I know we're only 31 hours into the year, but I'm curious exactly how much I get and this seems a good way to keep track. Plus, my insomnia blog has become increasingly less about insomnia (probably a good thing, but whatever).

In related news, I'm pretty sure cigarettes are more effective on a lack of sleep. Go me.


I would also like to share a (edited) quote from an article you wouldn't be interested in.
"Recipes are for wusses. When I cook, I saddle up my trusty Suzuki and set out into the wilderness in search of rare spices, exotic vegetables and the finest meats. Then, back within the gothic vastness of my kitchen I chop things with huge cleavers, sear them over roaring flames and add garlic to them whether they need it or not. This is the untamed frontier of the culinary arts. Cooking the same thing twice is the sign of a civilization in decline."

If someone could tell me if I should have used "an" instead of "a" up there, that would be great. Not sure if the parenthetical remark counts as the next word. I have a suspicion I'm wrong.

ask and ye shall receive

Not going to waste your time talking. Here's the photoshopping I dreamed of.



Matt is amazing. If I was a real blogger, I'd say something about how awesome my fans are. Instead, I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS!

Favorite Movies of 2009 and Possibly My Weirdest Sleep Schedule Ever

So this weekend was weird for me. Thursday fell asleep about 11 pm woke up around 3 am. Friday nothing. Saturday I took maybe an hour long nap at 10:30 pm before going to work. It's now Snday morning at 8:30 and I am inexplicably not tired. Oh well, this is why I saw so many movies this year. Hey look, a segue!

10. (500) Days of Summer
Adorably indie. Wish I could get advice from my little sister. Also, the things I would do to Zooey Deschanel...

9. (tie) The Hangover and Zombieland
Ridiculously funny. Period. I couldn't stand for either one to not make my list. If I could use photoshop, I would put a picture here of the Zach Galifinakis looking scared of a zombie tiger while Woody Harrelson brandished a bat at a toothless Ed Helms. I'd also edit off Emma Stone's clothes.

8. Inglourious Basterds
Best thing Tarantino has made. That's saying something.

7. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Yes, the Harry Potter movies are flawed. I still enjoy the shit out of them.

6. Funny People
Most depressing movie of the year. Also possible the funniest. I think @jephjacques said it best "Finally saw 'Funny People.' Fuck you Judd Apatow, for making me love Adam Sandler in something."

5. Avatar
It was just so damn pretty.

4. Star Trek
OH MYEXCITING! Next time you want an action movie, probably this one. I really like how they did the story so that it's not just another Star Trek movie, but the beginning of a new franchise. Whatshisface kicks Shatner's ass in the "good acting" category. Can't wait to hear HIS album. this is Shatner's

3. Ink
Yeah, you've never heard of it. Really fantastic story, surprisingly good effects considering the budget, and best super power in movie history (the power of cause and effect). Watch this trailer and know that it doesn't do the film justice.


2. Taken
As of this movie, Liam Neeson is a bigger badass than Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah I said it. No one wants to admit, but Sammy is aging like a mall security guard. Liam is aging like a rusty machete. What the fuck does that simile mean?! THROAT PUNCH!

1. Pirate Radio (which should have been called "The Boat That Rocked")
I don't even know what to say. Absolutely flawless. I love every character, every song, every twist. I'm going to preorder this on DVD despite having already downloaded a pirated copy. Come over and watch it with me any time.

Best Albums of 2009

Okay fine. I have a blog, and even if no one actually reads it I feel obligated to post my "Best of 2009" Lists. I still need to compile movies (because I sure as fuck don't remember everything that came out in the last 12 months) so I'll start with THE TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2009. You should know, I in no way represent this as an impartial list of the best albums musically. It is nothing more than the ones I like the most.

10. The Field - Yesterday and Today
Great background music. It will not wow you but you will always enjoy it. Genre is listed as minimalist techno. Couldn't have said it better myself.

9. Super Mash Bros - All About the Scrillions
Best maker of mashups out there. It's like he lived my life, and mixed the soundtrack.

8. Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
Sometimes I just want to listen to pop. Lily is there for me.

7. Shwayze - Let It Beat
More hip-hop should be like this. It's like (actually, I'm pretty sure this is true) a talented rapper got born into a suburban family and grew up skateboarding and listening to rock music. And then he got drunk at a rock concert and jumped onstage and started freestyling along with the band and they were so impressed they merged (definitely true).

6. Royksopp - Junior
Best concert I saw this year, and that is saying something. You don't expect a band that's this good in the studio to be that much better live, but they were transcendent. I don't think I've ever used that word to describe a concert before.

5. Weezer - Raditude
I'm glad that "The Red Album" taught me that Weezer's lyrics are now mostly tongue in cheek. It took me awhile to figure that out and it cut into my enjoyment of that album. Since I was expecting it this time, I loved it immediately.

4. Mos Def - The Ecstatic
Best album he's put out since "Black on Both Sides." Features an impressive cast of producers and a reunion with Talib Kweli. Contains the lyrics one expects from the most insightful artist in rap.

3. Miike Snow - Miike Snow
Certainly the funkiest album of the year, and one of the most fun. I expect biig thiings iin the future from Miike. Shit that was cheesy. Don't hold it against him. Coachella?!

2. Beast - Beast
Unlike anything I've ever heard, Beast is dark and moody but manages to make you sing along. Vocalist Béatrice Bonifassi calls it "trip rock." Produced by Lauryn Hill, this is the one album I'm absolutely shocked to not see on more people's lists.

1. Metric - Fantasies
Every track is great. Ever notice that saying "track" instead of "song" makes you sound hipper? Compare "I love this song" to "man, I really dig this track..." Anyway, I'm totally comfortable going off on a tangent here because this album is perfect. I don't feel the need to justify this as my top choice. "Gimme Sympathy" is the best song I heard this year. "Fantasies" is the best album.



My own comments about my list:
Pretty sure I'm the only person on the entire internet to not put Animal Collective's "Merriweather Post Pavillion" on their top ten list. It's a very good album. I liked those ten more. *shrug*

operation nap: mission accomplished

I just broke up a 42 hour awake streak with a 3 hour nap! That may not sound impressive to you, but I am damn excited. Plans for the coming week are to finish off my "Best of 2009" lists for movies and music. I figure I'm super qualified as I was awake for more than 85% of 2009. Probably. I didn't count or anything. Just based on averages. Actually, that's kind of a scary thought. Kinda wish I hadn't figured that out now. Knowledge is power.

Anywho. There's this really cool piece of technology where you can type in a script and 3d rendered people will act it out. Very impressive engine, extremely ridiculous application of it...

This made me laugh so hard and I'm not sure why. "I'm a fucking elite bikeracer"

ughh

alright since waking up at 1 pm sunday i have taken a short nap (the length of which was 1 vampire movie) and thats it. pretty much awake for 72 hours.

on the plus side, iv been to the gym 3 mornings in a row. mostly steam room, but yesterday i swam and monday i lifted weights for 15 minutes.

anyway, i just realized i have nothing interesting to say in this blog so here- this will entertain you
great mugshots

Me bitching about various things

Didn't sleep at all Monday (though I sure did lie down a lot, hurt my shoulder), odds aren't looking good for Tuesday. Sunday I got a few hours in so, along with my 6(!) hours Saturday afternoon, I should be good for awhile. Currently at 39 hours awake.

Now that I'm done complaining about that, I think I'll complain about something else. At the hotel I work at we have an elderly lady that lives in one of the rooms. I assume she's someone in the company's mother. One morning this week about 6, she fell and couldn't get up. This was on my last day of training, so I went on upstairs with the lady I was working with and we picked up a nude old lady. This apparently happens every week or so.

It was scary. Not the nude part, though that was by no means pleasant. But she is old enough that I felt I could break her. I decidedly have no training in this and it's really not in my job description, but mostly I'm just worried about her.

She is extremely nice a mentally sharp (reasonably so at least), but there is no doubt in my mind she needs to be in an assisted living facility if not a nursing home. I don't mind responsibility, but this is a little much.



Still love the chairdrum:

a list and a boring accounting story

Still sleeping way more than usual. Another 4 hours yesterday. I'm gonna have to rename my blog and quit being emo about my insomnia. Be happy for me.

So chasing down a variance (fancy accounting term for "crap you have to figure out") last night of $21.65, I found a transaction in that amount that a server had posted incorrectly. She had left a note that she did it wrong and had fixed it. It looked like she did too, so I spent in excess of 25 minutes trying to figure out what went wrong.
As it turns out there were two separate wrong transactions- one positive, one negative- that added up to that exact amount. Son of a bitch. What are the odds of that shit.

What I read whilst unemployed (41 days):
Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert Pirsig
Number 6 Fumbles - Rachel Solar-Tuttle
The Practice Effect - David Brin
Dragonsbane - Barbara Hambly
Illusions - Richard Bach
Series of Unfortunate Events (all 13 books) - Lemony Snickett
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Roald Dahl
Don't Judge A Girl By Her Cover - Ally Carter
Cross My Heart And Hope To Spy - Ally Carter
I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You - Ally Carter
Odd And The Frost Giants - Neil Gaiman
Bearing An Hourglass - Piers Anthony
The Jaguar Smile - Salman Rushdie
Dangerous Angels - Francesca Lia Block
The Story of Philosophy - Will Durant
The Complete Myspace Blogs of Carmen
The Count Of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
The Code Of The Woosters - PG Wodehouse
All Creatures Great And Small - James Herriot
C.L.U.T.Z. And The Fizzion Formula - Marilyn Wilkes
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish - Douglas Adams
Lost Horizons - James Hilton

(35 items, one every 28 hours)

This is my second night working graveyard shift at a rather fancy hotel. So not only am I getting paid for my insomnia, I'm getting paid to blog about my insomnia! I've also got over 7 hours of sleep over the last two days. Good week for me.

Can't do to much blogging right now as I'm still being trained, so I'll be back sometime soon to a) complain about my brand new job and b) compile a list of what I've read since my unemployment started now that it's over. These should both be relatively long lists, so stay tuned.

Be happy for me

So I slept from 9:15am to 2:30pm. I haven't been this well rested in a very long time. I don't particularly have anything to say tonight, I'm just really proud of myself.

I do want to wish good luck to Greg Oden. He is a basketball player for the Portland Trailblazer's and he just had the same knee injury as me. He is, according to ESPN "expected to miss the rest of the season" and "will probably never be the same player again." I feel you buddy.


You look 45, lets hope you recover like you're 21 (his actual age)

Reviews

I watched "Funny People" with some friends earlier. I'd seen it before, but I watched it more closely this time. My overall review has not changed. It is a really good movie that makes you sad. It is deep and thought provoking. It really makes you think about some things. It's also absolutely hilarious. And among the most depressing movies I've ever seen. I'm not saying I love it, in fact, I rather prefer movies that make me happy. I am saying that "Funny People" offers an amazing range of human emotion. It is real.

I'll also just finished reading another book, "Number 6 Fumbles" by Rachel Solar-Tuttle. Also fantastic, and very real. It is a great insight into the way that a thinking woman, well, thinks. It portrays a woman suddenly seized by crippling self-doubt. She struggles with the same fears we all do, the same insecurities. It's good to know that these things are, if not universal, at least shared.

So next time you feel like your emotions are so strong you just need to know that others go through the same things, I'ma go head and suggest both of these. Even though both protagonists are in different situations than you they are both, poignantly, people.

Oh, and 2+ hours of sleep last night. Along with the 4 from Thursday I'm at 12 hours since Thanksgiving Day. Averaging 1.5 per night. Starting to think I'm not normal.

Determined

So I didn't post last night. Does this mean I slept? No, it means I read. Finished my books. Two of them. Woot. Anyway, I have a job interview at 10 tomorrow then I'm doing shit all day. So even though it's early, I'm gonna lie down and get some rest. I just thought I'd do a quick post in case you missed me.



Sleepy Music: Death Cab for Cutie

Am I Tired?

No sleep last night, but I slept from 9 to about 11 this morning after the gym. For those of you keeping score, that's just under 6 hours of sleep since Thanksgiving.

I feel like your reaction here is probably somewhere along the lines of "holy assballs!" and it is probably appropriate. You may be asking how that even happens. How I can physically function. Then you feel perhaps a bit of sympathy, though probably not because you are a douchebag. And you think "god he must be tired."

That is the crazy part. I'm not. Or possibly I am but I'm so consistently tired that I can't tell anymore. This merits some thinking. I feel like I normally do, but tired probably is normal for me.

A few months back after a party my friend Furd kept waking me up just as I was drifting off to sleep. He kept doing this. Atleast ten times my eyes would shut in exhaustion and he would start talking to me again. People get crazy when you disrupt their sleep patterns and Furd was trying to illicit this response from me. He was very disappointed when I stayed completely calm, coherent, decidedly not crazy. I think this is because it was really nothing new for me.

the ability to kill an elephant!

Not a second of sleep last night, despite all the booze. Oh well.

I do want to talk about one of the things I like to think about as I stare daggers at my spackled ceiling, willing my body to accept lying on my back and trying not to move as restful. I like to think about driving, and how impressive it really is. Think about it. We are these mushy little creatures and we regularly are in control of something that could easily kill any land animal in the world. Sure, a rhino or an elephant can flip over a jeep, but if you caught it unawares it would be toast. And that's not even the part thats craziest to me. Humans are an animal that regularly trips and falls while walking. We injure ourselves severely playing games (football, boxing, etc) and we tend to be so self absorbed as to not notice anything else. And yet, we are put in charge of these machines.

Driving has become second nature for many of us, but it is NOT easy. There are so many things to consider, and it all has to happen so fast. The world record for human running speed is 27 mph. I doubt I can go half that fast. Today on the 5, I hit 80. Didn't even break a sweat. And my mind has adapted that going that fast seems like nothing. You somehow stick a person from the middle ages in a car and see what they think. They wouldn't even get around to the complexity of controlling it. They would be utterly terrified of the speed they were going.

So when you're next in your automobile, don't take it for granted. I'm not talking about having the power to end a life (though don't forget that either). Just think about how cool it really is to go that fast, and be in control of something more than 10 times your size, and be able to put together the series of motor (ha!) functions necessary to drive. It's pretty damn awesome.

Listening to Shwayze

Ok

So I slept lie 3+ hours last night after I posted, so I'm feeling good about my total sleep time this week. As for right now, I drank a bunch of Grey Goose and Everclear with Robyn, Dan, and Nathan so I should for sure sleep. Right? Balls. Just wanted to tell you guys that even drunk I still have insomnia. I would love to sleep. I'm super relaxed. I'm barely coherent. But not tired...
Son of a bitch.

Anyway. Ima lay down. If I'm not still staring at the ceiling in 4 hours wishing I could sleep, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Now, to keep you guys from getting too bored to keep reading my blog, I shall tell you the story of my car accident. Now what I like to say is that I got hit by a boat about a mile from Gibson Island. What I don't always mention is that Gibson Island is a city and the boat was on a trailer. ...I'm driving down the highway minding my own business at about 5 am and this nutcase in a pickup totally cuts me off. My defensive driving kicked in and I was able to slow enough to not get hit by his dumb ass. It all would have been fine except he was towing a 27 foot boat with no lights on the trailer. Needless to say I couldn't see it in the dark so I thought I was in the clear. But as I watched the truck straighten out in front of me my car was slammed on the left side. I looked in that direction but could not tell what hit me. This is because the boat trailer was against my car below window level and the boat itself had come free from its bindings and was ON TOP OF MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR. The weight of the boat was enough to warp the roof and crack my windshield, but the real damage was done when the boat, carried by the momentum of assface's truck, slid off my roof and landed rather soundly on my hood. It bounced off the hood and skidded 140 feet down the road, coming to a stop sideways but still right-side up in the left turn lane of Ritchie Highway.
So thats the story of the time I owned a Saturn for two weeks.